In our daily speech, we call person a narcissist humorously. We joke about our friends or relatives who cherish themselves too much. Sometimes we do suspect that a person may be too self-oriented, but hardly ever take it seriously.

If we put our definitions aside, we will get to know a very interesting fact – narcissistic personality is a type of psychological disorder and may even have a connection to infertility.

What is narcissistic personality disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a psychological and personality disorder provoking the sense of self importance and the need of endless attention and admiration. It starts to develop early in the childhood and leads to the urge of validating self-esteem by other people.

While people with NPD seem to be charismatic and attractive, in reality, they have a very low self-esteem and a fragile confidence, which should always be fortified by the approval from others. Narcissistic people can not deal even with the minor doses of criticism.

With this type of personality, relationships are very troubled. People with NPD tend to have no real connection or empathy for others. While achieving satisfaction becomes very complicated and the attitude is almost always negative, problems emerge in many aspects of life. People with NPD will always think they get less than they deserve.

As already mentioned, NPD develops from the early childhood and is a result of a mental trauma. Child is being traumatized when the parents are too critical and are neither supportive nor friendly. These children grow up with complexes, the lack of support, confidence and no authentic connection to the people.

When it comes to parenthood, after creating families, narcissistic people are often pretty sure that they want to become parents. On the other hand, their subconsciousness is starting to bring childhood memories and traumas to surface and provokes the psychological disturbance.  While patients think they are striving for parenthood, their mind is holding hidden motives that have to be realized and discussed.

During IVF, intended parents with NPD will most likely forget to take medications timely, will hardly ever like their fertility doctor or surrogate mother. Sometimes they will have oppositions about the IVF protocol.

Without realizing, narcissistic patients will often choose resist surrogacy agencies and fertility clinics. With this kind of actions, not only they delay and lengthen the way to parenthood, but also waste valuable resources such as time, money, their own and partner’s emotions.

Solution

Being eager to achieve something but subconsciously holding yourself back from it is more than devastating.

It is important that IVF patients with narcissistic personality disorder go through a psychotherapy course so that they deal with their unspoken traumas.

Instead of faking authority, these people have to establish an authentic bond with themselves, their families and moreover, overthink and develop a real desire to become a parent.